A calling ...

"We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims."

"Make the world work for 100% of humanity in the shortest possible time through spontaneous cooperation without ecological offense or the disadvantage of anyone."

- Buckminster Fuller

Thursday, November 17, 2011


My math case study is due tomorrow, which is worth 30% of my grade - that's what I should be writing, but I have something I need to get off my chest. Last weekend, while I was getting inducted into an honor society, all I could think about was the dire possibility of flunking grad school because of this math case study. Before and after the ceremony, my plan was to keep the whole matter about the honor society secret. My parents live at the bottom of the hill from the campus, however, so I decided to swing by and show them the special cord.

Earlier this week, I learned that somebody who I love very much who was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. When I heard the news, I was on I-95. I cried the entire commute, but gathered myself. I told Sandra about the news. We had been talking about cancer last week, and she shared with me how she once had to teach after learning her Instructional Assistant had just died. We laughed. Then, I sat in on an IEP Reevaluation meeting. Later, I was formally observed by my university professor.

It has been a rough week, there is a strong possibility for failure, but as Agent 86, Maxwell Smart used to say, "and loving it." Maybe I am the sort of person who is comfortable with things being out of control. What I can control is how I respond to living under "the sword of Damocles."

The tough thing is that I want to write a book about the person I love, while he is still alive. He has received a second death sentence (he cheated death the last time), but I can't. I need to write this case study.